White coat. Heels.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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