it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
A bitchslap is in order.
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