We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
