using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We had to coat check the pizza.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
