I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
