He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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