Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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