Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize