I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
