"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
