Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
