That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
