yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
