I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
