she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
