i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
