I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
