I am in a vortex of obligation.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
