ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
