they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
