New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
