Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
