Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
