I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
