Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
