so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
