oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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