At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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