I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
