Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
