I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
