Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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