i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
