I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
