the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
