Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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