Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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