is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
