I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
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