Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need water and some morals
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize