If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
