Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She even gives head with a lisp.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
