She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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