it's great music for shaving your balls
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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