Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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