Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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