My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
