ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
