Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
