we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
