Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
