4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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